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Understanding Shame and Solving the Problem 

Of Shame and Drawing Near to God

Drawing near to God requires an effective solution for shame or we will always stay away. This is true whether you feel shame because of sin or because you just feel dirty and don't know why. 

This section is for helping you to understand why you can trust the power of what God already did for you on the inside. It is also for helping you to understand the power of His provision for cleansing your outer body so that you can draw near to God without shame because of your humanity.

The Biggest Cause of Why we feel Shame!

Certainly, where sin is involved you will need to ask forgiveness and then rejoice your heart into believing the truth in the scriptures that God has forgiven you. 

But the biggest reason you feel shame often has to do with the weakness of your humanity. We want to be closer to God, but things happen that constantly remind us of our our human weakness—things that aren't necessarily sin, but we feel feel dirty and ashamed to draw near to God as a result.  

In some of us, our feelings of shame before the Lord are strong. In others shame isn't a problem until they begin thinking about being intensely close to God. In all cases feelings of shame need to be resolved biblically and completely, or our tendency will always be to stay away from God. 

You may feel shame to draw near to God because you are not believing the power of the cross of Christ. That problem needs to be solved effectively and Heart-training will help with that. But another even more common reason you may be feeling shame is because the weakness of your humanity needs to be washed too.

The Bible says that we, "have received a spirit of adoption as sons" (Rom. 8:15b). But, it also says our adoption is incomplete: "we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body" (Rom 8:23). On the inside of us we have been made new. But, the outside of us won’t get "saved" until we get new bodies when we go to heaven (1 Cor. 15:51-53). It is because the full "adoption" of our humanity hasn’t yet occurred that we need a continual cleansing from God.

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When you draw near to the Lord before your physical death, you are standing before Him with an unredeemed body. Therefore, it is vital that when you come to God you need to be trusting Him to wash your body so that you can trust His presence around you as our righteousness, even for your humanity.

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Much of the shame you feel is because you have your eyes on the weakness of what the Bible calls your "flesh." It is true that you should be looking at God, but this does not mean you should ignore the fact that your outer body needs God too. Just like King David, your body "yearns" for God (Psa. 63:2).

Jesus said we should "abide" with Him in us and us in Him (John 15). If you are a Christian Jesus "abides" inside you because the Holy Spirit lives in you. But the other half of abiding is that we have to abide "in Him." In one sense, you are abiding in Christ because you are in God's family. Abiding in Christ is more than that. It is reasonable to conclude that we need to abide inside Him to the same degree that the Holy Spirit is inside us! More is always possible for the inside of us because Jesus promised that a river of the Holy Spirit could flow out from inside us (John 7:37-39). More is possible for the outside of us too!

Another reason our bodies need a continual washing is because our bodies are involved in the process of ministry and service for God. God wants vessels for His use that are clean inside and out. It is vital to understand that ministry and standing before the Lord are directly related, "My sons, do not be negligent now, for the Lord has chosen you to stand before Him, to minister to Him, and to be His ministers" (2 Chron. 29:11). Ministering as a kingdom priest means that we also need to enter and stand before the Lord to be His ministers. The beauty of how this works is that God washes you any and every time you draw near to Him. The Bible says, 

"...we have confidence to enter the holy place by the blood of Jesus...let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water" (Heb. 10:19,22).

You can learn to " abide in Christ" by learning to draw near to God and letting Him draw near to you. By this, you experience a continual cleansing from God, inside and out. It is by drawing near and receiving this cleansing that your body is consecrated by God and prepared to be used for His purposes! The Old Testament priests were to "stand before" the Lord and be His ministers. The pattern is still the same today.

Don't Make the Same Mistake as Me!

Let me speak now from personal experience about why you need to learn to let God dissolve your shame. I share this with you because even though some of you may not be aware of feelings of shame at this time, you could begin to feel these things as you draw near to the Lord. Isaiah did.

Our God is an awesome God. The Bible says that "By those who come near Me I will be treated as holy" (Lev. 10:3). It also says, "be holy, for I am the Lord your God" (Leviticus 20:7). 

Because of respecting the holiness of God—even in the early stages of my pilgrimage, I was extremely careful whenever I sought to enter before the Lord. I would often check and recheck my heart to be sure that I was trusting the payment of Christ on the cross and the Holy Spirit in me as my basis for righteousness before the Lord.

But, even though I did so, it didn’t seem to help keep me from experiencing a similar trauma to the prophet Isaiah. I too was inclined to say, "Woe is me, for I am ruined" (Isa. 6:5b). Often when I entered before the Lord it seemed as though the heavens would open before me and I would suddenly become aware of the eye of God upon me. Even though I was doing my best to trust the power of the blood of Christ, I was surprised to find that God wasn’t only looking at my heart, I was keenly aware that He was also looking at my outer humanity too. Every time this happened I was always deeply traumatized it. I tried to trust God as my righteousness, but it did not seem to help. This did not fit my theology!

Because I was genuinely seeking to trust the power of payment Christ made on my behalf, I had great difficulty explaining the shame and fear I kept feeling. I was drawing near to Him and trusting Him to draw near to me. But, whenever I was aware that the Lord was looking at my outer humanity, I immediately felt tremendous shame. 

Even though I didn’t think it should be happening, it was impossible to keep from being overwhelmed by the weakness of my humanity compared to the greatness of God. I spent a lot of time reassuring my heart with the scriptures and putting my trust in what God had done for me, but my reaction was always one of fear and shame. Sometimes, it was a clear sense of the holiness of God that scared me. Other times it was an intense awareness of His transcendent adequacy that traumatized me. 

The problem wasn’t with my heart. It was the sense of God’s greatness—compared to my humanity—that so overwhelmed me, I only could shrink away in shame. I tried hard not to think of my lack compared to His greatness, but I couldn’t keep from it. These experiences were so traumatic, I would often avoid the throne room for weeks or even a months at a time. But, the scriptures had so convinced me that I couldn’t stay away. I had to keep going back until I understood.

Even though these experience didn’t seem like what should be happening, God encouraged me with the scriptures: "Now, little children, abide in Him, so that when He appears, we may have confidence and not shrink away from Him in shame at His coming" (1 John 2:28). 

Even though I knew this verse is talking about the second coming of our Lord the message seemed to apply directly to my situation. It convinced me that there had to be a way to stand before Him without having to shrink back because of shame. Like the verse above says, I only needed to better understand what it meant to "abide in Him."

All through this time, I kept noticing a theme running through the scriptures involving the presence of God and our humanity. 

I argued with God that my salvation should be enough because it didn’t seem that my body should need to be involved. Even so, I couldn’t explain verses that said we should, "put on the armor of light" (Rom. 13:12b)—apart from having the Holy Spirit all around the outside of us. 

During those days, verses like, "put on the Lord Jesus Christ" (Rom. 13:14), almost seemed to jump off the pages of the Bible. When I read, "abide in Me and I in you" (John 15:4), it told me clearly that we need Christ inside us. But, the part about being "in Him" indicated that Christ needed to be all around us too. King David even wrote that his body wanted God, "my flesh yearns for You, in a dry and weary land where there is no water" (Ps. 63:1b).

Those days were as difficult as they were frustrating. Over and over I kept finding verses about God being David’s shield and defender. Verses like these didn’t seem to be talking about salvation in the New Testament sense of the word. That God could be a shield for David seemed to say that God was all around David protecting him. More and more God was showing me that for David to experience God as his fortress, David had to be hiding himself inside the presence of God with him.

What I learned through all of this is that our sense of shame is directly tied to the weakness of our human flesh. Our eyes are on the weakness of our human "flesh" and not on God. We need cleansing, inside and out. God can dissolve your shame!

You Can Avoid Many Mistakes!

I have shared this part of my pilgrimage with you because I want you to understand that standing before the Lord is something we should do with our entire being. We need the cleansing of God in order to dissolve all reason to feel dirty or shame. Otherwise we will shrink away any and every time we try to draw near. 

I can honestly say now that the trauma associated with close experience with God has gone away. It is not that I have become use to the awesomeness of God. I do not think that is possible. God is too great. It is just that I let my heart hear the scriptures and then changed my theology and my application accordingly. You can do the same! 

By training your heart to trust God to wash the weakness of your human flesh you no longer need to experience the trauma of being close to our awesome God! I will show you how. 

A Brief Statement About Self-Condemnation

If you are one who tends toward self-condemnation, you will need to work with your heart so that you find freedom to repent. Knowing self-condemnation is self-protective sin isn't enough. Habit patterns like these can change, but they run deep. You are going to have to take steps to rest from having to be your own refuge. You are going to have to work with your heart so that you find freedom to turn and trust Him as your security rather than yourself. Even though it may sound scary to you, you can do it. I had to address these things in myself. I believe you will find the Heart-training material effective for addressing this issue. 

Just remember that our problem is a disease that runs all through us. As with any of us, your commitment to self-effort in order to quench your thirst, needs to be addressed in many areas. Listen to your heart and address your fears. You can turn to God. 

Much more is said about this topic on another page. Keep reading here if you can. If you self-condemnation is a big issue for you, you may need to go to the page about how not to repent.  

You Have the Advantage!

You have a great advantage over me! You can learn from my many mistakes. You get to avoid a great deal of unnecessary struggle and pain. I have worked heard to say things clearly. Because of that, growth that has taken me years will likely only take you a few months.

The good news is that you don't have to feel dirty and then try to solve the problem by condemning yourself for being dirty! You can learn to draw near and trust God to cleanse you.  

You still need a stronger understanding of the scriptures for understanding how all this works and why you should believe. After that, you will need to learn how to teach your heart to trust the provision and the power of God for making you clean.

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4 / 2011, a new version of the Heart-training ebook is now available! 

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I am praying for the Lord's abundant blessing on your efforts to direct your heart toward Him.

Barry.

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(C) Barry Hall 1999

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